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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28098045">Khristmas Karaoke</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/capthamm/pseuds/capthamm'>capthamm</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Once Upon a Time (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Christmas, Drunken Confessions, F/M, Feelings Realization, Fluff and Angst, Karaoke, mariah carey approved this</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:02:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,912</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28098045</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/capthamm/pseuds/capthamm</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Their annual Khristmas Karaoke sheds light on relationships, old and new.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>55</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Khristmas Karaoke</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Come on, Killian… She does this all the time. Aren’t you better off without her at this point?” Emma slaps Neal’s arm at his shitty attempt to comfort their friend after Milah ended things… again. She won’t admit her boyfriend is 100 percent correct, because that’s not the point. Killian has </span>
  <em>
    <span>always</span>
  </em>
  <span> had a thing for Milah no matter how awful she treated him and each time she ends things, Emma knows it breaks him a little more. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She keeps waiting for the time it breaks him entirely. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s their friends’ annual Khristmas Karaoke– Mary Margaret </span>
  <em>
    <span>insisted</span>
  </em>
  <span> on the alliteration– and Milah just didn’t show. It’s a big deal when someone invites a significant other, effectively indoctrinating them into their core group of four– David, Mary Margaret, Killian, and Emma. This is Neal’s second year, which really, truly only freaks Emma out a little (a lot), but it was supposed to be Milah’s first. Killian, Emma’s ever cautious best friend, refrained from inviting her last year, but when Emma said she was bringing Neal again, Killian jumped in immediately and said he was bringing Milah. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Milah chose tonight to tell Killian she didn’t want to see him anymore. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Figures. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With Milah, it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>always</span>
  </em>
  <span> about her and Emma is convinced Milah’s selfishness is the only reason she was still with Killian. He treated Milah like a queen without so much as a birthday wish in return. (Seriously, she forgot one year and Emma was left to pick up the pieces Killian so gallantly insisted were nonexistent, but Emma could tell– she can always tell with Killian.) Either way, Milah’s lack of interest in </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything </span>
  </em>
  <span>to do with Killian always made Emma uncomfortable. She wants more for her friend; knowing he deserves more than to be someone’s puppy dog. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Emma would </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> say that to Killian. She looks over at him and he’s clearly sulking, so she does what any best friend would do, “Come on KJ, we’re singing.” He goes to protest but Emma grabs his arm before shouting her drink order to David who mock salutes. “Ok go pick something, I’m going to run to the bathroom.” Killian nods, still seemingly unwilling to play along but too nice to deny Emma anything. She shoves him towards the stage and heads towards the bathroom. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After freshening up, Emma heads back towards the stage only to run directly into another woman. “Oh, god, I’m so sorry!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nah, don’t worry about it.” The woman looks up and a flash of recognition crosses her face. Emma recognizes her too, but she can’t put her finger on it. They both wave awkwardly before Emma heads to the stage and the familiar woman heads into the bathroom. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Killian is standing next to the stage flipping through the song book when she approaches, “Anything look good?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hmm?” Emma can tell he’s in a different universe and she figures now is as good as any to tell him how she really feels about </span>
  <em>
    <span>his Milah</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Killian, I know you loved her… or love her… whatever. But she keeps you on this retractable leash so she can use you when it’s convenient for her.” Killian doesn’t look at her but she knows he’s listening. “I’m not saying her being a shitty person makes this hurt less, but Neal </span>
  <em>
    <span>asked</span>
  </em>
  <span> to come tonight… just something to think about.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s her last comment that makes Killian turn towards her, “So you love him then?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Emma should know how to answer that– she and Neal have been together almost two years, it should be easy– but when Killian poses the question, the correct answer seems to fail her completely. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s here, isn’t he?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s a non answer, and Killian knows it, but Emma doesn’t have time to unpack her sudden stumble when posed with what should’ve been an easy question. She’s told Neal she loves him hundreds of times... so, why can’t she say she loves him to others? Something in the back of her mind whispers it’s because Killian is the one asking, but she shoves it down. They’ve had their chance– maybe hundreds of chances– and the timing just… never lined up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’s so deep in thought, she almost misses Killian’s answer, “Aye, that he is.” He looks at her intently, maybe expecting her to elaborate, but Emma is coming up short. She doesn’t understand </span>
  <em>
    <span>why </span>
  </em>
  <span>she couldn’t give him a straight answer– in truth, she doesn’t want to </span>
  <em>
    <span>admit</span>
  </em>
  <span> why. Somewhere deep down Killian knows this, because Killian knows </span>
  <em>
    <span>her</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He concedes after a few moments of silence, turning back to the task at hand, “Let’s sing the Grinch.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Emma smiles, memories of their yearly Grinch Binge, echoing through her mind. Mary Margaret and David can be… a lot. They are </span>
  <em>
    <span>very </span>
  </em>
  <span>in love and don’t mind showing it off, so ever since they </span>
  <em>
    <span>finally</span>
  </em>
  <span> got together, Emma and Killian sprouted a few traditions of their own. Neal never liked Christmas movies, no matter how hard Emma tried to get him to watch even the easy ones like </span>
  <em>
    <span>Elf</span>
  </em>
  <span> with her. Killian </span>
  <em>
    <span>loves </span>
  </em>
  <span>them– especially the Grinch. So every year, on the Saturday before Christmas, Emma and Killian hunker down and watch every version of the Grinch they can find. When the new one came out last year, they went and saw it in theaters before watching the rest of them. It’s silly, and some of the versions are old and awful, but it’s their thing and Emma looks forward to it every year. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As the first chord hits, Killian still seems to be in his head, so Emma starts, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>She accents the words by singing in the lowest voice possible, and directing them at Killian. He’s clearly holding back a smile so she continues, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>You really are a heel. You’re as cuddly as a cactus,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>she wiggles up against Killian causing him to burst out laughing before joining her for the rest of the song. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They sing it awfully, but neither of them even needs to look at the prompter. When it’s over they bow obnoxiously as Mary Margaret and David cheer. They break into a fit of laughter before hugging tightly. She finally composes herself when over Killian’s shoulder Emma sees something that makes her blood run cold. She must noticeably react because she hears a concerned, “Swan?” in her ear, but she can’t focus when it feels like the entire room is underwater and she’s drowning. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The name of the woman from the bathroom comes rushing back to her as she watches Tamara kiss Neal in the back corner of the bar. She recognizes her as the secretary at Neal’s office and suddenly all the pieces are coming together: late nights and business trips paired with a suspicious lack of increase in income. How could she be </span>
  <em>
    <span>so stupid</span>
  </em>
  <span>. If Emma hadn’t gone to hug Killian, she never would’ve seen them, her view blocked by the bright lights of the stage. But she did hug Killian and she </span>
  <em>
    <span>does</span>
  </em>
  <span> see them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’s going to be sick. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a brief moment, she hopes Tamara just came onto him, and waits for him to push her away. He doesn’t, in fact Emma’s pretty sure Neal leans in further. Emma feels her face turn beat red. Before she can think about what she’s doing, she lets go of Killian and leans into the microphone, twisting her body so she can still see Neal and Tamara, “Neal Cassidy, we are done. Tamara, once a cheater, always a cheater but he’s alllll yours. Merry Christmas everyone!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She feels Killian go stiff at her side when he realizes what just happened. She grabs his wrist, knowing full well his instinct would be to go beat the shit out of Neal. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s her instinct, too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But, in an attempt to be a bigger person, she drags Killian (and herself) back to the table. As they approach, Killian is stoic, David is hiding his head, and Mary Margaret looks like she’s about to explode. Both halves of the annoyingly happy couple begin to talk, but hesitate as they clearly look for the appropriate words for a completely inappropriate situation. Emma cuts them off, “Shots? Shots. Bartender, please put these on Mr. Cassidy’s tab.” Killian goes to protest, but Emma practically pours the whiskey down his throat, subsequently ending their pity party for the night. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>. . .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mary Margaret and David are long gone, but Killian has been a worthy partner to avoid self-pity with. Somewhere between the three shots of Fireball and her third Captain and Coke, he assured her she deserved better while they threw metaphorical darts at each other’s significant others. She knows she should be sad about Neal, but the longer she spends with Killian, the less she seems to care. Maybe it’s the drinks, or maybe it’s the company, but Emma finds herself up on stage, one more time, with Killian cheering her on... much to the chagrin of the rest of the bar. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Emma isn’t sure what song she’s singing, when the host called Mary Margaret’s name Emma subbed in enthusiastically; she’s feeling good despite the events of the night and she’s ready to go. It takes two seconds for her to recognize Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You” and only two more for her to start serenading Killian obnoxiously from across the bar. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But it’s all fun and games until the words you’re singing sink in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I just want you for my own,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>More than you could ever know”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The more she sings to Killian, the more she realizes the words aren’t very far off from how she feels about him, no matter how </span>
  <em>
    <span>cheesy</span>
  </em>
  <span> this song truly is. She’s always ignored her feelings for Killian, brushing them off as inconsequential and platonic– due to proximity and nothing more— but they’ve been nagging at her since he asked her if she loved Neal. Somehow, telling Killian she loved someone else would feel like the final nail in the coffin for any chance she had with him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What is she thinking? </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Emma feels the emotions bubble up inside of her until she’s practically overflowing– and then she’s literally overflowing… all over the stage. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It doesn’t take long for Killian to rush to her side, scooping her up and hauling ass to the bathroom. If she didn’t feel so sick, maybe she’d have room to be embarrassed. Killian doesn’t speak, just springs into action– holding back her hair, and keeping her comfortable until she’s entirely emptied out. She sits back, finally feeling well enough to register how embarrassing this situation actually was, but Killian doesn’t miss a beat, “Alright, Swan. Let’s get you some water. I’ll be right back, aye?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He helps her lean against the wall and hurries out of the bathroom. Emma hangs her head in her hands while she lets the wave of emotions wash over her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’s very thirsty. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’s very embarrassed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’s very in love with her best friend. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Killian returns with a glass of water and a toothbrush– </span>
  <em>
    <span>how the fuck did he find a toothbrush?</span>
  </em>
  <span> She finds she doesn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>care and is just grateful to have someone looking out for her at all. Killian stands patiently in the corner while she brushes her teeth and downs the water. She turns to face him and maybe it’s the hydration, but she already feels better. “Well, now that I’ve topped off a perfectly shitty night. Are you ready to go home?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Killian chuckles and nods before reaching out his hand to lead her from the bathroom and out of the bar. They walk hand in hand, swinging their arms between them until it gets a little colder and Emma finds she still has </span>
  <em>
    <span>just</span>
  </em>
  <span> enough of a buzz to go for it. She wraps her arms around Killian’s, hugging him tightly before resting her head on his shoulder. They’ve done this a million times, but tonight it feels different– she wonders if he feels it too as their pace slows and they walk in silence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Emma’s always been on the search for that missing piece, the part of her that will undeniably make her whole. For a while she thought it was Neal, but she sees now she was trying to fit a corner piece into the center of her puzzle. She’d like to think, as they walk arm in arm in a comfortable silence, that Killian could be that piece, but she’s not sure. When she’s with Killian, she doesn’t feel like there’s a part of her that needs to be filled at all– not because he filled it, but because he sees her as complete. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe </span>
  <em>
    <span>this </span>
  </em>
  <span>is how it's supposed to be– not loving in spite of the missing, broken, or faded pieces, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>because</span>
  </em>
  <span> of them.. Killian has loved her through </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She’s just been to blind to see it as anything more than friendship– just happy enough to even have that. But what if she </span>
  <em>
    <span>could </span>
  </em>
  <span>have more. Mariah Carey starts singing in her head again and Emma feels like maybe she’s let her thoughts get out of hand, but when Killian’s thumb brushes gently over hers, she thinks maybe he’d understand, “This isn’t all I want for Christmas.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Killian stops abruptly, “I’m sorry?” When he automatically apologizes, Emma realizes she needs to elaborate. Nerves course through her— years of heartbreak playing like a broken record in her mind telling her to put up her guard and run the other way. She’s not sure she’s ready for this— to share her entire self with him, but is anyone ever ready? Is there anyone she’d rather tell? The the resounding “no” that echoes through her train of thought which encourages her to continue on, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, no, I mean… You know when you’re a kid and you write out your Christmas list with everything you could possibly want and send it to Santa, and you are sure if you get everything on that list you’ll be </span>
  <em>
    <span>truly</span>
  </em>
  <span> happy?” Emma is </span>
  <em>
    <span>positive</span>
  </em>
  <span> she looks insane right now, but Killian is nodding and seems to be following along. “Ok, then Christmas morning comes and maybe you get one or two things off the list, but you already forgot about all the other things because just having this </span>
  <em>
    <span>one</span>
  </em>
  <span> thing is enough to make you happy. It’s not complete, and it’s not everything, but it’s everything to you at that moment?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Killian nods, moving closer to her, brushing a stray snowflake out of her hair as the sky begins to open up making the everything around them feel a little bit more magical. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, you’re my entire Christmas list and having you as a friend was the gift I was happy with. Just </span>
  <em>
    <span>having </span>
  </em>
  <span>you in my life was enough. From the time we were thirteen and you punched Robin for calling me a bitch, to the Grinch Binges, and junk food nights where we eat til we’re sick– I never wanted to give up any of it. I mean… 15 years of friendship...” Something in Killian’s eyes shifts and Emma starts to feel nerves rise through her body. She has to keep going before she chickens out again, “It’s not enough anymore.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Killian looks like he’s about to apologize again, his eyes drooping in confusion, clearly not understanding her confession, “I’m sorry, Swan– I can try to be better– I know Milah she–” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, you idiot. I want </span>
  <em>
    <span>more. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I want the whole list. The entire Christmas list. All of it.” As Killian processes what she said, Emma stands there for what feels like eternity, heart more on her sleeve than it’s been her entire life. She’s about to speak again when he lunges forward into a kiss that can only be described as Christmas magic. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(Any other day she’d </span>
  <em>
    <span>hate </span>
  </em>
  <span>how cheesy that sounds, but right now her nerves are on overload and her lips feel like they’re on fire so she’s over it.)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They finally break and Killian rests his forehead on hers, cold from chill in the night air, “Swan, I’m s0r–” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Killian Jones don’t you </span>
  <em>
    <span>dare </span>
  </em>
  <span>apologize.” He laughs and leans in for another kiss, this one softer but still affecting Emma just as much. They break again, and Emma feels Killian smile against her lips. She silently wonders if she’s too old to send a thank you note to Santa, or the universe, or whoever placed her right in this moment. Kissing her best friend is </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> where she thought she’d end the night, but now— in a crazy turn of events—it’s the only place she can imagine being. “Wanna head to my place, put on the Grinch, and make out a little?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Killian laughs again before answering enthusiastically and taking her hand. “As you wish.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And she does. As it turns out, Killian Jones satisfies every Christmas wish she has for the rest of her life. He also has the tendency to blast “All I Want for Christmas Is You” every year on their anniversary, even four years later when Emma knows for a fact the small onesie wrapped somewhere under the tree is </span>
  <em>
    <span>sure </span>
  </em>
  <span>to be Killian’s favorite Christmas present to date. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even after opening the surprise gift, Killian assures Emma his favorite present will always be her, but when she hears him hum their song to little Hope in the middle of Spring she knows that’s not entirely true. (Still, Emma finds she doesn’t really mind.)</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for being here, loves ❤️ Happiest of holidays!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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